I talked to someone tonight who used to date sex workers, in fact almost exclusively, until he got sober. No longer. He purported sex work to be akin to an addiction, and that so many of the people he dated wanted to leave the industry but couldn't. He explained that these women had a terrible time letting go of the highs of money and positive attention, though they wanted to get out. He admitted that as an active addict he was attracted to the sexuality of the business as well as the daddy role he got to play when the workers were struggling, but once he got clean, for his own sake he had to steer clear of sex workers.
I found this such an interesting perspective. It seemed like he was not only calling sex work an addiction but himself a sex worker addict. This reminds me of so called 'rice queens' and 'tranny chasers', both offensive and derogatory terms for those who seek out partners based on a specific demographic they fetishize. Would this guy be considered a 'ho hound'? Where is the line between fetishs and addiction?
I wonder if this is a common type of partner, those that consistently seek out sex workers as dates; either because they fetishize them or because they fit well with their 'addictive lifestyle'. I took umbrage at this guy's depiction of women addicted to sex work, but that's largely because I'm sensitive to non-positive comments on sex work made by those outside the business and none of my sex worker friends have gone through the cycle of wanting to leave without being able to. I certainly prefer sex worker or former sex worker partners solely on the basis of compassion and understanding around my work. Despite whatever other drama may arise, work has never been an issue with other sex workers I've dated and that is always such a relief.
I'm curious to hear if anyone else has met someone like this, someone who primarily dates sex workers, in a way connected to addiction or not?
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I once had a client who was so shy he could only talk to escorts. He said it was because talking to non-escort women scared him. I thought that interesting because what, then, did it say about his opinion of escorts?
Personally, I wonder lots more about a man who can't stop seeing escorts than an escort who doesn't want to stop escorting. There are many logical, financial reasons for the escort...but what's the rationale for the client?
Men who make a living out of the review boards, constantly needing the "new girl" fix, lying to partners, going to escorts more than nonpaying partners...this is all behavior that points to addiction or at least a certain level of dysfunction.
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