Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Welcome to Working Heart

Think of the types of people who love sex workers, and what comes to mind?

In my mental line-up of archetypes I see:
-young children unaware of their mother's profession
-a clueless, well-meaning older relative
-a sad-sack client, obsessive and out of touch with reality
-a poor boy, tormented by his love, unable to "afford" her

These images are in my mind, but they don't originate there, nor do they look like the host of real-life examples I know of the myriads of kinds of people who love sex workers.

A clue is that all of the S.W.s beloved by those in my line-up are women, and straight, and either down on their luck or incapable of un-paid love. These archetypes do not come from my imagination, though they do live there. They come from images, stories, ideas that I've collected out in the world; from media and jokes and 'common sense'. I didn't realize I was collecting characters that would live in my head at the time, but I looked inside and there they were.

When I think of the people I actually *know* who love sex workers, the line-up looks much different: more numbers, more diverse, and definitely more interesting and colorful.

The clueless relative is still there (my best friend's parents); as well as the children (young son of a former Lusty Lady employee); but so are a husband with a shared bank accounts who painted his wives FBSM studio; a best friend computer geek that acts as occasional safe-call for outcall sessions; a girlfriend who picks up her sweetie from all her jobs: bartender, clinic worker, escort; a mother who paid for her daughter's jewelry and implants to aid her stripping career; a boyfriend who schedules his work as a performer around his boyfriends in-house tricks; a personal submissive both obedient and independent who helps her Dominatrix Mistress pack for work; quite a few boyfriends and girlfriends that turned a trick or two or stepped in for a double with the aid and encouragement of their sex worker partners;....

The list goes on and on. It includes people of every race, class and gender; those with full disclosure of their beloveds work and those who have no idea; people who love loving sex workers and people for whom it's a constant struggle. The unifying factor, the only thing I can think of that almost all these people have in common is this:
All of these people greet each other with affection when they enter a room. A hug, a kiss, an old joke or boot kiss; whatever it is, there is genuine, reciprocal love and affection there.

This topic has been on my mind for about eight years now. Realistic sex worker visibility is very limited; realistic representation and insights from people who love sex workers seems practically non-existent. I'd like that to change. I'm interested in changing the stigma against sex workers, but I'm also interested in doing what I can to help make the day-to-day work of connecting, relating and sharing intimacy with each other a little bit easier. I want to create a place for a conversation to happen, one I've needed; one my partners have needed.

I hope, with your help, to make Working Heart a place for thoughts, observation, conversation and support for sex workers and their partners. After all, we've all got a strong, hard, Working Heart.

1 comment:

Moi said...

What a great idea for a blog..thanks for doing this! Looking forward to hearing more.