Comment on the First Poll

Karly Kirchner said:

I had to vote for four of them:

Work makes me Insatiable for my lovers!
Being in love is so distracting, I can't Work!
I can't work unless I'm getting some at home, or at the bar, or in the park..somewhere on my free time!
Work is Work and Love is Love, they don't affect each other, it's so different.

I can't separate all of this. I've felt all or some of them at one point or another. Most importantly, I feel very solid with my emotional and physical boundaries which allows me to float between all of these different emotions. Feeling like I'm able to be up front and frank with my lovers and partners is the best way for me to feel confident in all of my many relationships, regardless of whether they're personal or professional.

And I LOVE that this blog exists! Thanks for making it happen!

Working without Lovers

It's one of the classics: "If my partner fucks (or uses sexual energy) at work, will there be enough left for me at home?"

It's not an unfounded fear. I've experienced riding a sexual high from working that fans my fire for wild sex with my partner(s), and I've also had days where whatever happened at worked sapped every last drop of sexy right out of my tired body.

But this isn't my problem.
Right now I'm working with the opposite, or perhaps inverse issue.

Can I get it up for work when I'm not getting it at home?
This one seems more difficult to me, more often a stumbling block than an occasional variable. While I've gone through dry times when sexy work has helped tide me over, partially sating my desire for eroticism, those periods have lasted no more than a week, and seem to be the exception rather than the rule. I'm more familiar with the feeling of being rusty: unskilled and unmotivated for sex work when there is low or no activity in my personal sexual life. In my mind I get an image of a wave, and when I have good unpaid sex on the regular it seems easy to streamline work into the wave and watch it swell farther. Wave, zone, groove, whatever; I feel sexy and confident and inspired and, well,*lubricated* for sexual adventure. When the wave is at a lull, I feel out of practice and inept, and I get concerned about offering my clients inferior service. Everything about it (except me) feels a lot harder, too.

I guess it all comes down to energy exchange, and sexual nutrition. For the most part with work I give energy to the client in exchange for money, whereas with a personal partner, the energy exchange (one hopes) flows back and forth. I feed the client one way and they feed me another; sometimes I am depleted after and sometimes I replenished, but in a quick flash, sugar-high way. Whereas good partners feed each other with the same materials, the same media of service, trust, vulnerability, safety, surprises, acceptance, play, work, and pleasure; like a lasting meal of greens and root vegetables and protein *and* dessert.

So beyond pulling a great lover out of the ether, has anyone come up with workable solutions to keep work sexy and fun even if all that's waiting in bed for you after the session is a good book? Does this sound familiar to anyone else?